Anyway, I'm a birthing PRO now, so I thought I'd give a few general pointers to people who need them.
1. Labor - not as scary as you think.
My particular experience was rather maddening, but it came to a head very suddenly. Two days before Mr. Blue's birthday, my doctor decided I had to induce two weeks early. I was really hoping (and planning) for a completely natural birth (if that's what you want, get a midwife - doctors don't really roll that way). Anyway, there I was thinking I had a few more weeks of mental preparation, and that I would be able to ease into the labor naturally and all of a sudden, I was waiting for a call telling me what time I should be at the hospital in the next two days. I was freaking out.I don't know what it feels like for labor to come on naturally. I was induced, and what that means is essentially I went from 0 contractions at all to strong contractions every two minutes in about a half-hour. I wouldn't advise this if possible. The pain was pretty bad, and I ended up getting an epidural. But all the freaking out I did in the previous two days? Wasted energy.
2. Family - ignore them if you want
If you are part of my family, I apologize for this pointer. However, in the two days between the doctor and the delivery, our family was pretty interested in news from us. In those two days, I got phone calls from people who hadn't called me in months or years before then. I took the first one, and, after having to hold back frantic sobs while a relative who (meaning well) was trying to probe for "how I was feeling" and telling me all about "her birth experiences", I just ignored all the rest. I didn't want to spend all my time crying and pretending I wasn't, and I didn't want most of them to know that I was scared out of my wits.So my husband and I texted our parents and told them what they needed to know and asked them to pass the info on, along with the request for everyone to leave us alone. Our excuse was that we wanted to spend our last couple of childless evenings with just us two (and that was true), but the main reason was that I didn't want to talk to anyone about it - freaking out was really tiring.
Also on a side note: Hearing the phrase "When I had [name of baby]..." precedes a story that has no bearing on the way you are going to deliver your baby. Chalk it up to a story on the level of "When I was a kid..." stories. Particularly the ones that are horror stories. Because people always like telling their horror stories. Just because it happened to someone else doesn't mean it's going to happen to you. Especially if the person is more than 15 years older than you. They did things differently back then.
3. Hospital staff - Be nice to them
They know you're in pain. They work with this everyday. I don't know the exact stats, but nurses in Labor and Delivery apparently have an extremely high job satisfaction. Considering they probably get screamed at a lot, that is kind of impressive.However, it is generally better to have them be sympathetic than frustrated. So if you must scream (I was more of a whimperer when I was in pain), try to scream nice things at the nurses, like "WOULD YOU PLEASE MIND GETTING ME SOME WATER?!" and "I'M SO SORRY I'M SCREAMING AT YOU!" It will keep you on their good side and probably give them a chuckle in the process. If you don't make everything all about you, they'll try harder to do that for you.
4. Care about your Mom
My mom told me after the birth was over that she wished someone would have told her how I was doing. My birth actually went very quickly and easily on me. I was so okay that nobody thought to tell my family how I was doing - they only heard about the baby. But apparently my poor mom was sitting there in the hallway, worrying about me, and getting no news.So if your mom is not in the delivery room with you, have someone tell her how you are doing. After all, you're a mom now, and someday, you may be going through the same thing!
5. It's YOUR baby
Our close family came into the L&D room about two hours after Mr. Blue entered the world. The first thing out of their mouths was "Can I hold him?" We did pass him around a little bit, and he didn't seem to care too much, but if you are uncomfortable with it, just say "No". Pretty soon, you'll be too happy to let others hold him and keep an eye on him, and he did just leave the comfort and safety of your womb only minutes ago (even if the number is 120, he's still really new).Even now, when he's more than a month old, I still get antsy about BIG groups of people wanting to hold him and pass him around - like at church, or if my family is getting together for a birthday party. I don't care if one person holds him for an hour or two, but passing him around from person to person? Not on my watch! Not yet, anyway...
6. It's almost like they don't want you to sleep...
As soon as you possibly can, go to sleep. It's best if you sleep while others are still awake, because at night, when you are the only thing standing between your newborn and death, you will not sleep. And if you do, the nurses and PCAs and phlebotomists and doctors will come wake you up. My husband helped as much as he could, but we are breastfeeding, and he really couldn't do much in that area. Also, it turns out that sometimes, babies make noises while they sleep - noises that don't mean anything - noises that are similar to noises adults make when they're settling down to sleep. Every single time he made a peep, I was up and at his side.I would tell you to calm down and realize nothing's wrong, but you won't believe me until you check for yourself. So during the day, get your mom or your husband or someone to hold him and make sure he isn't dying and allow you to sleep for fifteen minutes. You'll need it when the sun sets. This will continue for a little while when you are at home too, but you won't have the hospital staff getting in the way of your resolve to not worry about him.
7. Lactation consultants = your new best friends
If the lactation consultant shows up when you have visitors, make sure he/she will come back, or kick your visitors out. Even if you feel like you got this breastfeeding thing down, it's always a good idea to make sure you are doing it right. If the baby is latching incorrectly, your nipples will hate you, and the difference between doing it right and doing it wrong is pretty slight. So make sure you know what doing it right looks like.You should also have them help you pump at least once, because pumping is different than feeding and it is more efficient if you're doing that right too. It's the difference between getting a steady stream of milk with each pump or just drops at a time.
And lanolin. Get lots of that junk.
8. Don't let your diet go to pot
You are going to focus mostly on taking care of your new little one, and getting sleep yourself. But it is important to at least eat regular meals that include basic nutrition (don't subsist on snack foods). I've had a doctor mention that I need to be drinking milk to make sure I have extra calcium. I've been enjoying a snack of milk and cookies a couple times a day - but I have a sandwich for lunch and something cooked for dinner also.On a related note, when Mr. Blue breastfeeds, it's as if he sucks every drop of moisture from my body and I immediately want a glass of ice water. Without fail. So be sure you are prepared when you breastfeed. You'll figure out what you need pretty quickly.
9. Paper plates and cups
Before we left the hospital, my dad told me he wanted to go get some easy-to-cook meals for me to use the first couple of weeks at home. He asked if there was anything particular I wanted and the four most beautiful words proceeded from my lips."Get some paper plates!"
Not having to deal with washing plates after every meal was amazing (with my husband home, we would have been doing dishes at least once a day). All we had to worry about were our glasses and we have a lot more of those than plates. Finish a meal, throw the plate away. I would so highly recommend doing this. Especially if it is your first baby, you're going to be SO tired (see number 6) and focused on other things - dishes will only add stress to what is arguably a pretty stressful time.
10. Take lots of pictures
We don't actually have a camera (I'm getting one for Christmas if I have to... do something extremely unreasonable for it), but we have our mobile devices. Get them out and keep them charged. They change SO quickly at this age, and I personally want to remember all of the stages Mr. Blue's little face has undergone. We are starting to get some smiles from him that aren't gas, and as soon as I realized this, I grabbed my years-old iPod and took some really grainy, shaky footage of him mimicking my grins. Even if you don't have a camera, find something to take pictures of your baby and save them.Albums (such as they were when I was little) are not as popular anymore - now it's all Instagram and Facebook and Twitter (probably synced). But make sure that you have more pictures than just what you post online. Some should be special just for your family.
